Sabina mamedova

I was born in Uzbekistan, but, at the time the USSR was collapsing, my people faced crimes against them and they were forcibly deported to Russia. This did not bring safety but only earned my people and family ongoing xenophobic persecution since we were not Russians. I grew up in a very small village in the Krasnodar Krai region of Russia. I was expected to finish only ninth grade and get married. This was expected by our culture and by the Russian society. There was no chance of finishing high school or college because I was not allowed to do this by the government. 

From my 1st grade to 9th grade, we Turkish students were segregated; in fact, I never studied with a Russian student in my life studying only with other Turks. Our classrooms were separate from Russian students even though we were being educated in the same school. At the age of five I lost my father to a very tragic killing. My father had struggled to find a job because the government would not provide proper documents and citizenship for the Turks. He traveled to another region of Russia to find work, but he never returned alive. As a political refugee his life was not important in that society; no one would care because it was “us” who were being persecuted and the Russian government would not even investigate the crime. We will never know whether he was murdered because of his ethnic background or religion, or whether he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

A few months after my father’s murder, I started first grade. I was very shy and quiet in school because what had happened to my dad had affected me deeply. My Russian teacher concluded that I did not understand the Russian language, and, when other teachers came to the classroom, she would say nasty things about me, as if I were not in the room. She often scolded me and one time she gave me a hard slap on my knuckles with a ruler for running out of school supplies. She saved most of her anger for the Turkish Muslim students since they were the ones who had no recourse to stop the abuse. 

When the United Nations uncovered the mistreatment of my people that had passed down with exile of my grandparents and great-grandparents, they decided that we needed to be relocated again but to the USA. This was my second time being deported as a political refugee and a child. 

When I was 16 years old, I, my mother and two younger siblings were relocated to the USA. I started high school in Hartford without knowing any English. It was very hard for me to learn English with the traumatized mentality engrained by my Russian teachers making this situation worse. I was scared and this feeling continued through my college years, but I managed to do well and graduated from both. I always dreamed of being in college and being educated so this brought me to Eastern Connecticut State University, and my dreams were slowly becoming true. I fought all my traumatized fears and graduated ECSU with honors. This was a huge accomplishment for me as a political refugee who comes from a conservative cultural background.

As a survivor of these atrocities I wrote my memoir, which is published in an academic book and later turned into a stage show at my university where I earned an acting degree. Now I am turning my memoir into a play in the hope of portraying what it means to be a real Muslim character. This is for me, my Turkish community and for my Muslim community. A true Muslim is not a terrorist, but a person that survives and overcomes neglect, discrimination, bigotry and traumas in life and never ending non-acceptance. I am telling this story in the hope that it will help put an end to discrimination against people for their ethnic origins or religious beliefs. 

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